I am 50 years old and I have my own business. I have several young men working with me in the company and I have found myself in love with one of them and I have even allowed him to sleep at my house. I have a daughter who is one year older than this young man and she suspected that we were lovers and asked me about it.
I admitted to her that I loved him and she asked me, “mother don’t you know your age?” I have feelings. After she left, I thought about what she said and I found myself crying and when I saw the guy the following day, I told him we could not go on. He told me that it was too late for us to stop. I told him I could be his mother and he said I didn’t feel like his mother.
We have continued to have a sexual and intimate relationship. I don’t see him as a son but as my lover. I don’t have any other man in my life but him. Every night my daughter calls me and I know she is doing so to find out if he is there with me. Sometimes before she asks me if he is there, I volunteer the information. Nobody at work knows that we are lovers. We don’t travel together and I do not allow him to come into my office unless it is job related.
There is always a danger with a woman your age having an intimate relationship with a guy many years younger. The possibility always exists that he may turn away from her and find a woman who is much younger, and the older woman would be left with a broken heart. I am not saying that this man would actually do that, but I give you this warning that it may just happen.
You are hiding your relationship from others except your daughter who knows but the question is, how long can you hide this relationship? You may feel that nobody in the company knows that you are sleeping with this young man, but you cannot be sure.
I suggest that you go and sit with a trained counsellor and discuss this matter with him or her and do not invite the young man to go with you. I think he should only go if, after the first two sessions, the counsellor suggests that he should come. I want to wish you well. Believe me, I will not condemn you.